Instant Music
by Valentine Requiem
Summary: Useless thoughts, unwanted sentiments. What did a doll need emotions for, anyway?


**Disclaimer; I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters, and I certainly do not own the song Instant Music by The Pillows, which this chapter was inspired by. If I did, I assure you I would not be living with my parents. **

**I also cannot claim Professor Marshall as my own, who is a filler character thought up by my friend.**

**I do however possess the right to mess with him.**

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><p><em>A no damage-y image<em>

_Calorie off to be happy_

_Malnourishing your heart is O.K!_

She was nothing but a doll.

A beautiful porcelain skinned doll with opposable arms and legs. Her voice was low and soft spoken- fitting of a doll who's only purpose in life was to stand beside her masters and breed heirs for the next noble generation of purebloods.

What doll needed a soul? Or a mind, for that matter. Thinking was for real people with dreams and aspirations. None of her thoughts were her own, simply ideas and plans that others had filled her head with.

_I am a husk._

The world wasn't empty or bare, it was teeming with life and laughter. She was the one who was blank. It was her that was lacking.

"Narcissa, did you want to visit Hogsmead this weekend?" She snapped to attention, mind drawn taunt to the sound of his voice. It was time to hone her mask, display a charming smile.

Fool the masses, average bliss is happiness. Even if you're drowning inside, it's okay.

"Sure" She replies, eyes crinkling up at the edges to accompany the winning smile plastered onto her face. "That would be lovely."

Lovely was a good word to use, right? Lovely was vocabulary fitting of a future Malfoy.

Lucius nodded. "Alright then. Perhaps we'll stop off at the tailor's, this dratted cufflink keeps popping off." And her role was done- the attention was now drawn back to the males, the lowly woman forgotten.

Narcissa returned her attention to her plate. A few leaves of lettuce remained, the remnants of her dinner.

Pretty. Proper. Thin. Cultured. Superior. Narcissa Black filled these roles perfectly, down to the last detail. She scoffed at all the right people and complimented all the right ones.

Pushing aside her trash, Narcissa stood and politely excused herself. Lucius grinned and bade her goodbye. The blonde tipped her head to the side, regarding him.

She knew that look, of course. That façade. How could she not, when she put on the same one every minute of every day?

Dolls pretending to love dolls pretending to love dolls. How droll. The young woman grabbed her school bag and glided off. It was funny, and more than a little ironic.

Narcissa let out a giggle once she'd left the great hall. The giggle quickly turned into a chuckle, and the chuckle an ongoing stream of laughter. She fell to her knees laughing hysterically. Tears streamed out of her eyes, and from her vantage point locked inside her head, Narcissa tutted the makeup that would be running.

She staggered to her feet, lurching down the hall in search of somewhere she could fix her appearance. Sporadic bouts of giggles still burst forth every few seconds.

A lady couldn't be seen in such a state. Without her mask, she was nothing.

Stumbling into the closest room she came to, the Slytherin slammed the door shut behind her and crumpled onto the floor.

"Ha…ahahah! Ahahaha!" Narcissa threw her head back and howled, the laughter escaping again. She wiped her eyes with her sleeves, mascara smudging all down her face.

Useless thoughts, unwanted sentiments. They were flooding the world. What need did a doll have for emotions, anyway?

"M-Ms. Black?" Her breathing froze; every muscle in her body froze, held taunt and shuddering in the wake of that small voice.

Narcissa mopped the wetness out of her face so she could see. This classroom hadn't been in use the last time she'd checked. A tall blonde man blinked down at her, seeming to be at a loss for what to say. The Slytherin backpedaled, bracing herself against the wall so that she could stand. "That wasn't…" She didn't even know how to begin explaining herself. Narcissa smoothed out her hair, trying to regain her composure.

"Is everything alright?" The man seemed more embarrassed than angry. Once she'd sobered up, Narcissa was able to recognize him as the Arithmacy teacher, Professor Marshall. He was a well known pushover- perhaps she'd be able to talk her way out of this after all.

"I was just having a bit of a moment." She poured on the charm, a smile, clasping her hands demurely and doing her best to appear sufficiently flustered. "I would be appreciative if you didn't mention this to anyone, Professor. I assure you that it won't happen again."

He looked at her for a while, making the girl shift awkwardly on her feet.

"If you…if you ever need to talk about it" He finally remarked, scratching his head "You can come to me. I can't promise I'll understand, but I'm a good listener."

Narcissa took a step towards the door, bobbing her head all the while. "Of course, Sir. I'll remember that."

She'd never take him up on the offer, of course- but if agreeing would get her out of there sooner, then all the better. Slipping out of the classroom without another word, Narcissa felt as if she'd been drenched in cold water.

Somehow, she had slipped. Everything she'd worked for could have been taken away in the blink of an eye. If anyone else had caught her in such hysterics, it would have all been over.

The blonde adjusted the strap of her school bag. She would not make that mistake again. Emotions were useless and trite. Narcissa put her mask back in place before moving, heading towards her next class.

_Instant music, it's flooding the world_

_Children are drowning_

_Diet music, look, it enthralls them!_

_Well, screw that._


End file.
